Photo by Extra Medium via Flickr

One of my coaching buddies sent me a link to a meaningful blog post about how we commonly  answer the question, “What do you do?” The most common response is to answer in terms of our work/career or for parents staying home with children, our family status.

But you are so much more than just the job you do (even if you love it) and only defining yourself by your relationships isn’t enough either.

In my Living On Purpose group for women, we explore life purpose as who you are rather than what you do. Your beingness is expressed through the activities and roles you play in your life, but it is not hostage to them. Take a moment to read this inspiring blog by Melani Marx as she answers the “What do you do?” question in a unique and authentic way.

Feel free to leave some thoughts in the comments about how you would like to respond to “What do you do?” a new way!

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Happy 2011!

If you are focusing on some New Year’s intentions or resolutions, I encourage you to read my column this month in Portland Woman Magazine. It is all about the 5 reasons most resolutions fail and how to insure that your resolution sticks! Just hit click on Portland Woman Magazine (link here) and then click on the current issue. You can then use the scroll button on the bottom left hand page to choose my column, “Get a Life (coach)!” The article will open right up. Use the magnifying glass icon to zoom in and make the print larger. Enjoy!

No matter how you feel about resolutions this year, I encourage you to invest some time and energy into thinking about who you want to be in 2011. You see, every day you wake up and make choices, not just through your actions but also through your beingness. This year do you want to be the victim or the hero of your circumstances? Will you be the healer of your own heart or will you continue to judge yourself? Will you be the creator of your most secret dreams or will you stifle them once again?

Above all, my hope for you this year: come home to yourself. Be the most authentic you possible!

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Many of my clients suffer from what I call the “perfection trap.” This sneaky pit is easy to fall into when you are trying too hard to do everything just right. When you over-worry about failure or looking bad, you back yourself right into the devious clutches of “it’s never good enough” – and never done.

What is the easiest way to fall into it the perfection trap? By comparing yourself to someone else.

The biggest problem with the perfection trap is that it is difficult to escape. Some people live their whole lives inside of it. From the inside, it seems that everything is more difficult and personal connections are complicated. There is a vague sense of longing for more ease, more passion, but the harder you claw your way towards it from inside the trap, the further away it seems.

The world outside the perfection trap is messier. There is more space for error and exploration…and creativity!  Your relationships are more authentic because people can come closer to you.  You are willing to try and learn new things – and even fail – creating more possibility in your life.

How do you escape this tricky trap?

Accept yourself right now, just as you are and be willing to grow. Your imperfections make you who you are instead of a photocopy of an unachievable ideal. Everything you have been through, every sag and scar, your disappointments, quirks and fears, all tell an important story about your experience during your lifetime.

Your true nature shines through only when you are willing to stand in the open.

I have a gift for you: There is nothing wrong with you.  You might have some problems, but that is a natural part of being human.  How you learn and grow from your challenges, rather than hide in the shade of perfection, is the beauty of you.

“Ring the bells that still can ring, forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.”— Leonard Cohen

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