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Archive for the 'Self-Nurture' Category
Aug 27th 2009SavannahPersonal Growth & Self-Nurture
Did you do the self-limiting beliefs exercise in Part I? If so, what did you learn about the thoughts that limit you and keep you stuck?
The good news is that these thoughts are in your mind and you are the one that gives them power and meaning! That means… you can change them! As a matter of fact, you are the only one who can!
How?
Through a powerful process of inquiry that doesn’t just work with your conscious mind, it allows your deeper consciousness to participate as well.
Step 1: Identify the thought or belief. A common one that comes up with women is: “Taking care of myself is selfish.”
Step 2: Ask yourself: How does this thought/belief make me feel? Thinking that taking care of yourself is selfish is likely to make you feel resentful, tired and cranky. Every time you have an opportunity to rest or nurture yourself, your mind tells you that you should be productive or that someone else needs your attention. If you follow that self-limiting thought, you are going to burn yourself out and not be very fun to be around!
Step 3: Consider: Where did this thought/belief come from? Perhaps you had selfless female role models who never took time for themselves (and maybe made others pay for it later). You might get this idea from cultural beliefs about the way women or mothers should act. Maybe you have a deep feeling of unworthiness that says that you have not earned or do not deserve to take care of yourself. Often women come to the deeper self-limiting belief that says: “I am not worth taking care of.”
Step 4: Be curious: Is this thought/belief 100% true? Does self-care automatically equate selfishness? Most women that I know who are worried about being selfish are the ones who are so committed to their families, work or community that they give and give and give… Selfishness is being so concerned with yourself that you never think of or care for the needs of others. True self-care is simply being in balance: caring for yourself and others!
Step 5: Shift it! If the self-limiting thought is not true, what would be a more honest thought/belief that also reflects your values? Of course you want to care for others and you truly need to take care of yourself so that you have love and attention to share. A new thought might be: When I take care of myself, I have more to give to the people and activities in my life!
Step 6: Take action! What can I do that reflects my new thought/belief? Self-limiting thinking is addictive and we have formed habits that correspond with these thoughts. In order to truly change them, you have to be willing to form new habits. If you are committed to taking better care of yourself so you have more to share with those you love, you might finally listen to your body and start going to yoga. Maybe you are going to let something go that you have been doing out of obligation. Or perhaps you will take some time each week to paint, dance or practice your favorite musical instrument. Chose something that nourishes you!
Transforming self-limiting thinking will change your life and relationships. And, you are doing it as much for those you love as for yourself. When you are not willing to buy into limiting thoughts, you inspire those around you to question their own. If you are a parent, you will be teaching your children to think more positively.
Leave a comment and share what self-limiting thought/belief you are shifting!
May 8th 2009SavannahSelf-Nurture
Today the little monkey and I ate an entire watermelon, met friends at the park to play, took the styder balance bike around the neighborhood and enjoyed a long snugly nap together.
I always look forward to Fridays! It is the one week day that I don’t work so I make it my day to play with the little guy. And usually Friday nights are movie night with my sweetie.
Before the little monkey was born, Papa Bear and I bonded over movies. I remember early in our dating (first date maybe?) when he told me that his favorite movie (and he had seen it like 20 times) was Blade Runner, I swooned (and not just because I was thinking about Harrison Ford). We enjoyed going to Cinema 21 and catching new indie films and watching old favorites on the big TV. The big guy even has a degree in Film and dreams of finishing his screen play and shooting his motorcycle movie. I know one day he will.
These days, we don’t get to the movies very often. And, only recently has the little monkey been sleeping consistently enough for us to really sink into a good flick at home. When we do, I sometimes have a sensation of the old “us.” A couple of movie geeks who like real buttered popcorn, beautiful cinematography, skillful direction and the magic of human drama unfolding on screen. It is a good reminder because like most couples, we get really caught up in the business of living.
So tonight the Self Nurture is all about movie night!
How about you?
May 7th 2009SavannahBeing Present & Self-Nurture
Do you have a busy mind? Do you feel more comfortable being productive, “getting things done” and being in motion? Do you tend to over-think or make assumptions?
If so, you are a lot like me! I have always struggled with the delicate balance between doing and being. Because I write a blog about mindfulness in mothering, you might assume that I am a master of meditation and mindfulness.
WRONG!
I am the one who needs every single one of my own reminders. I write this blog for myself more than anyone!
Yes, I have taught yoga, given over 500 massages, gone on Vipassana Retreats, led hundreds of meditation and mindfulness exercises. I even offer body-centered coaching to help my clients calm their minds and connect with their bodies.
And still, I am learning. For me, it is a daily practice.
In Buddhism, this busy mind is called the monkey mind. Imagine a room, full of screeching monkeys! It is restless and unsettled, never content in the present moment. It creates anxiety, feelings of dissatisfaction and distraction. The monkey mind will always have you doubt yourself.
My Self Nurture practice today was to focus my thoughts on being present in the moment.
Did you know that we have an average of 60.000 thoughts per day? And many of those thoughts are fears about something that might (or might not) happen, assumptions about what other people think about us and self-limiting beliefs. No wonder we get so stressed!
So today when my mind wandered away from focusing on present time, I gently nudged it back. When I remembered…Because you know how quickly the monkey mind takes over!
Here are three questions that inspire present-time thinking:
1. What am I feeling (emotions and sensations) right now?
2. Where is my attention?
3. What do I need to be more present in this moment? Sometimes it is simple like a glass of water or a deep breath. Other times it is more complex, like completing a task that is distracting me or talking about something this is bothering me.
Being present is an empowering and nurturing practice. Only in present time can I really enjoy my life, connect with my loved ones and take actions that make a difference in my health and well-being.
How are you nurturing yourself today?
May 6th 2009SavannahBeing Present & Health and Healing & Self-Nurture
Today I want to challenge you to think about your relationship to your body. The following is an article I wrote for the Zenana Spa and Wellness Center newsletter:
How does your body communicate with you? How often do you pause to really listen to the messages your body sends you?
Your body can offer you two types of wisdom:
- Clear signals about what you need in order to be healthy.
- Intuitive information or guidance about your life direction and choices.
At times you might notice a vague sense of discomfort in your body but you don’t stop long enough to determine what it is. Or, you forget to listen to your body’s signals until you finally break down, get sick or are too exhausted to function. Sometimes your body speaks loudly and you still ignore the messages.
There are also times you might not want to listen to your body. When you are busy and stressed, you might not think you have time to slow down and take care of yourself. You get caught up in being productive, taking care of others and feeling overwhelmed. And the less you tune into your body, the more you miss the subtle messages.
But can you really afford not to listen?
Your body also sends you information through physiological sensations. Your heart rate increases, you begin to sweat, your belly or chest feels tight, or you have a sensation of “not right-ness.” Your body is asking you to pay attention.
Remember the last time you felt a strong sensation in your belly or a gripping in your chest right before you made a decision that you later regretted. If you had stopped to pause and reflect on the guidance you were receiving from your body, would you have made a different choice?
Isn’t it wonderful that your body actually does talk to you? Instead of feeling frustrated that you are so sensitive or trying to avoid pain and anxiety, you can choose to embrace the wisdom that your body offers. Once you make the commitment to being mindful, you will find that pain and anxiety decrease. Your body will not have to talk so loudly!
What signals have you been ignoring? Pause and listen to your body right now. What do you need? It might be as simple as a glass of water or as life changing as a new vocation.
Remember, listening to your body is being loving to yourself.
I am offering a FREE women’s circle on Saturday, May 16th from 3 to 4pm at Zenana Spa. We are going to focus on connecting to our body wisdom. If you want to join me, please RSVP.
For my nurturing today, I got a massage. For me, bodywork is a way to listen deeply to my body and take time to relax and restore my energy. As a massage therapist, it is imperative that I get regular bodywork. I am also very blessed to have health insurance that covers massage therapy. And don’t even get me started on how necessary it is for insurance companies to cover alternative and preventative health care…
What was your Self Nurture practice today?
May 6th 2009SavannahSelf-Nurture
I was inspired and excited by all the comments on my Mindfully Mothering blog from other mamas yesterday about their simple yet nourishing Self Nurture practices!
While reading them, I noticed that many of the acts: drinking a cup of tea, listening to music, window shopping, reading, soaking in the tub…are ones that many of us do regularly. And yet it was the intention and presence these mamas gave to the actions that made them truly Self Nurturing!
My Self Nurture practice today was to create time to connect with people who are important to me. You know how busy life can be…As a working mama, I often get caught up in getting things done and lose track of making time just to connect.
So today I called Sweet boy’s Step-Mama to chat about his upcoming Prom, hear all about his tux fitting and just catch up. I am blessed to have a great relationship with her and Sweet boy is blessed to have two mamas who love him so much!
After our conversation, I sat down and wrote Sweet boy a little card, sharing how proud I am of him and how excited I am for him about his Prom. I wish I could be there to see him shining in his stylish Tux. Then I let myself feel how much I miss him and looked at some photos of him when he was a little guy.
Over the past few years as Sweet boy and I having been living apart, I have missed him every minute of every day. But I don’t often let myself just have the time to sit and experience my feelings of sadness and longing.
So today, I am just missing my Sweet boy and that is the most nurturing gift I can give myself.
How are you caring for yourself tenderly today?
May 4th 2009SavannahSelf-Nurture
Today is the first day of my annual Self Nurture Challenge, leading up to Mother’s Day! I want to encourage and inspire all mothers to consciously choose to care for themselves with tenderness and attention so that they have more energy and presence to give to their lives and families!
Often we think of Self Nurture in terms of our actions: taking time for ourselves, getting regular exercise, keeping up with health-related treatments (like massage therapy or acupuncture), eating healthy… But I love to share about the deeper aspects of Self Nurture.
More than our actions, Self Nurture is about our attitudes.
While actions like eating healthy and exercising are great for you, they are not nearly as nurturing when your attitude is one of “I have to exercise” or “I need to eat salad so I can lose weight.” When your attitude is one of obligation and deprivation, you are not truly nourishing yourself.
Throughout my life, I have struggled with the delicate balance between being healthy and allowing myself to enjoy simple treats and pleasures without guilt.
So, to begin our Self Nurture Challenge, I took myself out for an ice cream cone last night. Standing in line, I noticed a little boy, maybe 5 years old. He was holding a 20 dollar bill in his hand and jumping from foot to foot, eager to order his cone. His freckled face was beaming with delight and and his entire body was alert with expectation.
He wasn’t worrying about calories or wondering if he should be eating dairy right now. He didn’t care if the milk was organic or if the chocolate might keep him up at night. He was intent on enjoying the ice cream with every fiber of his being.
I decided to do the same.
And you know what? It tasted better!
Now, this does not mean that I will make this a weekly ritual. I know that dairy doesn’t agree with me in large quantities and I do like to be mindful about what I eat. But, enjoying (truly enjoying with presence) a yummy treat occasionally is important for my well being!
Every day this week, I will post a new thought or insight about Self Nurture and share my nurturing activity for the day. I invite you to participate and leave a comment with what you are doing to care for yourself this week!
So, how are you nurturing yourself today?
May 4th 2009SavannahSelf-Nurture
Okay mamas, we are gearing up for another Self Nurture Challenge! This is my yearly ritual and it is a lot of fun! This year, we are going to focus on nurturing the four areas of our personal well-being: our bodies, our minds, our emotions and our spirits!
The Self Nurture Challenge will officially begin on Monday and I will post a mini-blog entry every day until Mother’s Day, reminding you of the importance of taking care of yourself and offering some insights into how to make it work in the chaos of daily life with a family!
Here is the challenge:
- Every day, starting Monday, May 4th, engage in at least one self nurturing activity. It can be fast, it can be free, but it has to be nourishing to you.
- Log on to my blog at the end of the day and I will have a daily post up by 8pm detailing my nurturing activity of the day. Leave a comment to share about what you did. Let’s inspire and support each other in caring for ourselves.
In honor of all mamas, I am offering a 20% discount on all integrative massage therapy sessions in May for any woman in the Portland, Oregon area who is actively mothering children (you might be an auntie who cares for kids, a step-mom or even a very busy grandmama). Feel free to pass this on to friends who might be interested and call to schedule your session, they will book up fast!
Stay tuned next week for the Self Nurture challenge and remember, you can subscribe to this blog by email to stay in touch.
Okay, who is going to participate in the challenge for next week?
Sep 23rd 2008SavannahSelf-Nurture
Are you feeling stuck in the rut of adult daily life? I invite you to consider that inside each of us is a playful, creative child who is not afraid to express herself. Read my recent post at The Tranquil Parent for more information!
http://www.thetranquilparent.com/detail/invite-your-inner-kid-out-to-play/
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