Savannah Mayfield, LMT, CEC
Certified Life Coach
Licensed Massage Therapist
ph: 503.473.4754
savannah@nurturelifecoaching.com

Archive for the 'clarity' tag

Change takes COURAGE!

It has been my privilege over the last six years to partner with remarkable women (and sometimes men and couples) in realizing more joy and fulfillment in their lives! The life coaching process inspires you to be more present to your inner truth and create deep and lasting change that supports your growth.

Every so often, I am awed by the utter courage of one my clients. Remember, courage is feeling the fear and still taking right action. This type of courage requires profound clarity and oodles of support (queue Jane Sibery singing “Calling All Angels”).

One such inspiring client made a courageous leap in her life this week and wrote a manifesto to declare her intentions. She has given me permission to share it! Click on the image to see a larger version.

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What is your “native genius”?

One of my clients sent me a link to this TED talk by Kristen Wheeler, “Evolution of a Job Hater.” What I loved most about this talk is the question: “What is the seed of your native genius?”

In other words: “When you are most yourself, who are you being and what are you doing?” In an ideal world, each of us would be doing meaningful work that is sparked from the essence of who we are. Work that we would do naturally, even if no one paid us for it. Work that we can’t help but do because it is the expression of our own form of genius. And I promise, we all have it.

Flowers in the summer sun

Photo by em-si, shared via flickr

The process of uncovering your genius is not always easy. It is often buried beneath layers of enculturation, limiting beliefs and painful life experiences. I believe we were each born expecting to be supported in the unfolding of our own brilliance. But we live in an imperfect world and often our self-expression is thwarted.

I trust implicitly that each person who walks in my office for life coaching has that seed of genius inside. I am dedicated to shining the sunlight of clarity and the nourishment of support so that it can grow and grow and grow!

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Happiness is not happenstance

Cyanide, Happiness and Biscuits!

Photo by lensfodder, shared via flickr

People often come to life coaching wanting to change the circumstances of their lives: they want a more fulfilling job, better communication in their relationships, improved health, ect… In a nutshell: they want to be happier!

In our work together, they soon discover that happiness is not about what happens and that it can even be somewhat dangerous to their well-being to make happiness depend on the right job, relationship or finally achieving their health goals.

Are you wondering why? Isn’t that just what they are hiring me to help them accomplish?

Circumstances are transitory and depending on them for happiness is a fragile way to live. It can leave you exhausted and anxious from trying to hold on too tight.

In my years is supporting people in having more joyful lives, I have learned that happiness is an attitude. It is inspired, not by what happens, but by who you are being in relationship to what happens.

I have witnessed clients realizing their own strength and wisdom in dealing with some of the most challenging of situations. I have seen them shift perspective from fear to choice even when the options once felt limited. And I have been awed by how gratitude can create a lasting happiness that has nothing to do with happenstance.

And the irony is that life situations do react to our inner state of being. The more joyful and centered we choose to be, despite difficulties that arise (and they do), the more life seems to align in our favor.

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Are you stuck in the perfection trap?

Many of my clients suffer from what I call the “perfection trap.” This sneaky pit is easy to fall into when you are trying too hard to do everything just right. When you over-worry about failure or looking bad, you back yourself right into the devious clutches of “it’s never good enough” – and never done.

What is the easiest way to fall into it the perfection trap? By comparing yourself to someone else.

The biggest problem with the perfection trap is that it is difficult to escape. Some people live their whole lives inside of it. From the inside, it seems that everything is more difficult and personal connections are complicated. There is a vague sense of longing for more ease, more passion, but the harder you claw your way towards it from inside the trap, the further away it seems.

The world outside the perfection trap is messier. There is more space for error and exploration…and creativity!  Your relationships are more authentic because people can come closer to you.  You are willing to try and learn new things – and even fail – creating more possibility in your life.

How do you escape this tricky trap?

Accept yourself right now, just as you are and be willing to grow. Your imperfections make you who you are instead of a photocopy of an unachievable ideal. Everything you have been through, every sag and scar, your disappointments, quirks and fears, all tell an important story about your experience during your lifetime.

Your true nature shines through only when you are willing to stand in the open.

I have a gift for you: There is nothing wrong with you.  You might have some problems, but that is a natural part of being human.  How you learn and grow from your challenges, rather than hide in the shade of perfection, is the beauty of you.

“Ring the bells that still can ring, forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.”— Leonard Cohen

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Certainty is not necessarily clarity

“I know that will never happen for me,” my client said dejectedly as she described her dream job. “He never listens…I doubt that will ever change,” huffed another client about her husband of 10 years.

My good friend Rev. Susan Leo once said “certainty is the opposite of faith.”

I think she meant that when we think we know exactly what something or someone is, we lose our ability to trust in the mysterious and ever-changing nature of most everything. Our fixed version of reality rarely holds all the possibility that exists.

Doubt can actually be good, especially when it comes to limited ways of thinking. It can create room for exploration and for the kinds of questions that can open doors. Doubt is even helpful when you have an overly positive certainty because it allows you to creatively prepare for potential obstacles.

Doubt can actually inspire deeper clarity.

I describe clarity as the inner knowing that allows you to see to the heart of the matter. That is hard to do if you are clinging to your false notions of what something is or isn’t. The tighter you hold on, the more energy you expend.

Take a moment to think about a challenging area of your life where you feel absolutely certain. What would be different if you allowed some doubt to come into your awareness?

Maybe that person isn’t always going to be so difficult. Maybe they aren’t even as difficult as you assume right now.  Whether you are struggling financially, feel stuck in an unfulfilling job or relationship, or convinced that you don’t have what it takes to create the life you secretly crave, loosen your hold on certainty and you will create more possibilities.

Clients often come to coaching hoping I have the answers to their problems. Thankfully (whew) I do not!  If I did, they would depend on me rather than themselves for clarity.

What I do offer is trust in yourself: that if we ask the clarity-inspiring questions and pay close attention, the answers will always come. And they do. Time and time again.

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Question your “have-to” activities

I am a blogger for the Mamapreneurs.com site and my recent topic is TIME! As busy women, we all wish we had more time. And the truth is, you do! You just need to know where to find it…

Most busy women lose time in the “have-to” activities. We all have them! Things we do because we feel obligated, even though they don’t always match our priorities and we often feel resentful when doing them. Read more about changing your relationship to the “have-to” activities.

One of the most powerful shifts you can make is to view time as an investment. When you are clear that you choose how to use every moment of your day, you are being more honest with yourself! Even doing something out of obligation is a choice.

How are you going to invest your valuable time today?

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