Today the little monkey and I ate an entire watermelon, met friends at the park to play, took the styder balance bike around the neighborhood and enjoyed a long snugly nap together.

I always look forward to Fridays! It is the one week day that I don’t work so I make it my day to play with the little guy. And usually Friday nights are movie night with my sweetie.

Before the little monkey was born, Papa Bear and I bonded over movies.  I remember early in our dating (first date maybe?) when he told me that his favorite movie (and he had seen it like 20 times) was Blade Runner, I swooned (and not just because I was thinking about Harrison Ford). We enjoyed going to Cinema 21 and catching new indie films and watching old favorites on the big TV. The big guy even has a degree in Film and dreams of finishing his screen play and shooting his motorcycle movie. I know one day he will.

These days, we don’t get to the movies very often. And, only recently has the little monkey been sleeping consistently enough for us to really sink into a good flick at home. When we do, I sometimes have a sensation of the old “us.”  A couple of movie geeks who like real buttered popcorn, beautiful cinematography, skillful direction and the magic of human drama unfolding on screen. It is a good reminder because like most couples, we get really caught up in the business of living.

So tonight the Self Nurture is all about movie night!

How about you?

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Do you have a busy mind? Do you feel more comfortable being productive, “getting things done” and being in motion? Do you tend to over-think or make assumptions?

If so, you are a lot like me! I have always struggled with the delicate balance between doing and being. Because I write a blog about mindfulness in mothering, you might assume that I am a master of meditation and mindfulness.

WRONG!

I am the one who needs every single one of my own reminders. I write this blog for myself more than anyone!

Yes, I have taught yoga, given over 500 massages, gone on Vipassana Retreats, led hundreds of meditation and mindfulness exercises. I even offer body-centered coaching to help my clients calm their minds and connect with their bodies.

And still, I am learning. For me, it is a daily practice.

In Buddhism, this busy mind is called the monkey mind. Imagine a room, full of screeching monkeys! It is restless and unsettled, never content in the present moment. It creates anxiety, feelings of dissatisfaction and distraction. The monkey mind will always have you doubt yourself.

My Self Nurture practice today was to focus my thoughts on being present in the moment.

Did you know that we have an average of 60.000 thoughts per day? And many of those thoughts are fears about something that might (or might not) happen, assumptions about what other people think about us and self-limiting beliefs. No wonder we get so stressed!

So today when my mind wandered away from focusing on present time, I gently nudged it back. When I remembered…Because you know how quickly the monkey mind takes over!

Here are three questions that inspire present-time thinking:

1. What am I feeling (emotions and sensations) right now?

2. Where is my attention?

3. What do I need to be more present in this moment? Sometimes it is simple like a glass of water or a deep breath. Other times it is more complex, like completing a task that is distracting me or talking about something this is bothering me.

Being present is an empowering and nurturing practice. Only in present time can I really enjoy my life, connect with my loved ones and take actions that make a difference in my health and well-being.

How are you nurturing yourself today?

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Okay mamas, we are gearing up for another Self Nurture Challenge! This is my yearly ritual and it is a lot of fun! This year, we are going to focus on nurturing the four areas of our personal well-being: our bodies, our minds, our emotions and our spirits!

The Self Nurture Challenge will officially begin on Monday and I will post a mini-blog entry every day until Mother’s Day, reminding you of the importance of taking care of yourself and offering some insights into how to make it work in the chaos of daily life with a family!

Here is the challenge:

• Every day, starting Monday, May 4th, engage in at least one self nurturing activity. It can be fast, it can be free, but it has to be nourishing to you.

• Log on to my blog at the end of the day and I will have a daily post up by 8pm detailing my nurturing activity of the day. Leave a comment to share about what you did. Let’s inspire and support each other in caring for ourselves.

In honor of all mamas, I am offering a 20% discount on all integrative massage therapy sessions in May for any woman in the Portland, Oregon area who is actively mothering children (you might be an auntie who cares for kids, a step-mom or even a very busy grandmama). Feel free to pass this on to friends who might be interested and call to schedule your session, they will book up fast!

Stay tuned next week for the Self Nurture challenge and remember, you can subscribe to this blog by email  to stay in touch.

Okay, who is going to participate in the challenge for next week?

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Our culture is focused on doing. From to-do lists to getting things “done”, our value is often measured by our productivity. The Industrial Revolution (think job specialization and assembly lines) began a new era of technology and progress. And the good old “work ethic” was born!

While this has brought us incredible innovation and knowledge, we  have also created a society of people who are disconnected from nature, from their own bodies and from each other. We are busy and we are stressed.

As a Personal Coach, I often see clients who are excited about discovering their life purpose. One of the most inspiring aspects of my job is supporting women as they get crystal clear about what they are commited to in their lives!

Unfortunately, we have learned that our purpose is all about what we are doing.

Because of this misconception, we believe that our purpose is our job (teacher, doctor, designer), or the roles we play (mother, daughter, friend) or the actions that we take (feed the homeless, care for sick people, save the world).

But what happens when you can’t get the job that you dream is your ultimate purpose? What happens when your kids leave home? What happens if you can’t save the world?

I truly believe that your purpose is not what you do but who you be. You see, everything that you do is informed by who you are being. When you are clear about your motivations, your values and your gifts and strengths, you can infuse your life with a purposeful being-ness.

And you might notice that you slow down a little, shift your perspective from getting things done to making meaningful connections, and find more fulfillment in your life!

If you want to discover more about your life purpose, join me for the Living On Purpose Coaching Group. The next one starts at the end of April!

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In working with busy women, one theme I notice is that they often have trouble asking for and receiving help and support. Many of us identify with being in the role of supporter and nurturer and it can be a challenge to step back and let someone else give us the very thing we give so freely to others.

“Asking for help is a sign of weakness,” is a common limiting belief in our culture. We may not believe it consciously, but it operates on an unconscious level making us feel less than when we can’t do everything (perfectly) ourselves.

The truth is that asking for help is a sign of empowerment and intelligence. Can you really be the successful, fulfilled woman you want to be, the kind of mother, professional, partner and/or community member, without the support and resources that other people can offer?

I wrote an article for the Tranquil Parent about the value of asking for help and how it is actually a gift to others in your life. Give it a read!

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