Every so often, I am awed by the utter courage of one my clients. Remember, courage is feeling the fear and still taking right action. This type of courage requires profound clarity and oodles of support (queue Jane Sibery singing “Calling All Angels”).

One such inspiring client made a courageous leap in her life this week and wrote a manifesto to declare her intentions. She has given me permission to share it! Click on the image to see a larger version.

By Zohar Manor-Abel, shared via Flickr

To begin 2012, I have a simple question for you: Who do you want to be this year?

You, like everyone else I have met through my life coaching practice, have many different selves inside. You might have a worried self that tends to agonize about money and a jaded self that feels skeptical about getting too close to people and a hopeful self that wants to have an impact on the world…and many other selves that have conflicting feelings.

The themes might be different for each of us, but the truth is clear: moment to moment, we can choose who to be.

Every action you take and attitude you hold comes from some version of your self. So, change who you are being…and you truly change your life.

The very first step is to be mindful (pay compassionate attention) to who you are being. You might ask yourself: How do I feel right now? What does this version of myself believe? What else feels true?

If you would like to explore this more, I invite you to join my next Self Nurture Women’s Group. We will practice important skills like: mindfulness, self-compassion, connecting to inner knowing and more!

Also, I have a new coaching column in Portland Woman Magazine! “Get a life (coach)!” will be featured in every issue, with insights to guide you in your every day life. You can pick it up free in various locations in Portland, Oregon (like the library or grocery store) or read it on-line. Just follow the link and flip to page 27.

I was also delighted to write a feature story about Andrea Moore, the winner of the Mama Makeover contest for Portland Family Magazine. You can also pick that up free in Portland, Oregon or read it on-line on page 12. Her story is so inspiring, you don’t want to miss it!

Photo by Campbell Salgado Studio

The 2010 Portland Mama Makeover is coming to an end this week. It has been an amazing experience to work with Andrea Moore, this year’s winner. I had the honor of being her personal life coach for this healing journey; we cried, laughed and dreamed together over the two months.

After weekly sessions of Pilates, acupuncture, bodywork, coaching and more, the changes in her are dramatic. She is stronger, sits up taller and holds herself with more intention. Her after-makeover photo session with Campbell Salgado Studios speaks volumes about the difference this experience has had in her body.

Her energy level has increased and she often talks about a new feeling of “aliveness.” She has had some incredible moments of clarity that are opening doors in her life in several directions. I can’t wait to see which ones she chooses to step through!

Andrea wrote a tender blog about our coaching work together. If you want to be inspired by a woman who is truly willing to live fully, even after suffering a devastating loss, take a moment to read her story.

I am already looking forward to next year’s Mama Makeover!

As humans, we often look outside of ourselves for answers. We think if we can just get our partners to act or think a particular way, we will be happier. If we can only land the ideal job, then everything will come together, including our finances. Or if things weren’t so difficult in our lives, we would feel better.

If I have learned anything about positive change, it is that it comes from within.

In the words of Leo Tolstoy, “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”

When you are truly ready for your life experiences to be different, start by taking a look at yourself first.

However, for most of us, looking in the “mirror” leads to self-judgment rather than self-empowerment. And here is where it gets tricky! You will never (and I really believe this) make sustainable, positive changes in your life from a place of self-judgment.

Sure, you might go to the gym more often if every time you look in the mirror, you can’t stand what you see. But, this is a slippery slope. Tying your self-worth to being an ideal weight can lead to guilt and self-sabotage. If you want to be more fit and healthy, love yourself just as you are enough to give your body the exercise it needs.

And instead of struggling to get another person to be different, ask yourself : what can I change in myself first? Often the very thing we want from other people is the key to our own happiness when we do it ourselves.

If you are craving understanding from your partner, take some time to look inside and see how you can be more understanding of yourself. Likewise, how can you be more understanding of your partner?

I invite you to consider all the areas of your life that are challenging for you right now. Notice how you might be trying to forcibly change an outside person or situation. As an experiement, consider what you might shift within yourself first. I promise that you will have surprisingly positive results!

I always look forward to Fridays! It is the one week day that I don’t work so I make it my day to play with the little guy. And usually Friday nights are movie night with my sweetie.

Before the little monkey was born, Papa Bear and I bonded over movies.  I remember early in our dating (first date maybe?) when he told me that his favorite movie (and he had seen it like 20 times) was Blade Runner, I swooned (and not just because I was thinking about Harrison Ford). We enjoyed going to Cinema 21 and catching new indie films and watching old favorites on the big TV. The big guy even has a degree in Film and dreams of finishing his screen play and shooting his motorcycle movie. I know one day he will.

These days, we don’t get to the movies very often. And, only recently has the little monkey been sleeping consistently enough for us to really sink into a good flick at home. When we do, I sometimes have a sensation of the old “us.”  A couple of movie geeks who like real buttered popcorn, beautiful cinematography, skillful direction and the magic of human drama unfolding on screen. It is a good reminder because like most couples, we get really caught up in the business of living.

So tonight the Self Nurture is all about movie night!

How about you?

If so, you are a lot like me! I have always struggled with the delicate balance between doing and being. Because I write a blog about mindfulness in mothering, you might assume that I am a master of meditation and mindfulness.

WRONG!

I am the one who needs every single one of my own reminders. I write this blog for myself more than anyone!

Yes, I have taught yoga, given over 500 massages, gone on Vipassana Retreats, led hundreds of meditation and mindfulness exercises. I even offer body-centered coaching to help my clients calm their minds and connect with their bodies.

And still, I am learning. For me, it is a daily practice.

In Buddhism, this busy mind is called the monkey mind. Imagine a room, full of screeching monkeys! It is restless and unsettled, never content in the present moment. It creates anxiety, feelings of dissatisfaction and distraction. The monkey mind will always have you doubt yourself.

My Self Nurture practice today was to focus my thoughts on being present in the moment.

Did you know that we have an average of 60.000 thoughts per day? And many of those thoughts are fears about something that might (or might not) happen, assumptions about what other people think about us and self-limiting beliefs. No wonder we get so stressed!

So today when my mind wandered away from focusing on present time, I gently nudged it back. When I remembered…Because you know how quickly the monkey mind takes over!

Here are three questions that inspire present-time thinking:

1. What am I feeling (emotions and sensations) right now?

2. Where is my attention?

3. What do I need to be more present in this moment? Sometimes it is simple like a glass of water or a deep breath. Other times it is more complex, like completing a task that is distracting me or talking about something this is bothering me.

Being present is an empowering and nurturing practice. Only in present time can I really enjoy my life, connect with my loved ones and take actions that make a difference in my health and well-being.

How are you nurturing yourself today?